I didn't always have the job of guarding the hallway.

I used to live inside, in the smaller one's room, above his dirty clothes hamper.

I'd better start at the beginning, I suppose. My story's not long - just unusual, for a house spider anyway.

I was born inside, back when my room was a storage place. I come from a big hatch, with many brothers and sisters; most of which moved out through the cracks and found worlds of their own to go to. I liked it here. So I stayed. In those days, the human didn't spend much time in the room under the stairs, and when he did enter my room - I always hid behind the pipes.

But a new human moved in. He was smaller then the other and he took over the storage space and made it his own web - I mean home. Humans don't build webs, I find that very strange.

At first I thought I was going to be discovered and killed. I'd heard stories of how humans would pounce on my kind, for no apparent reason. Such are the ways of the species. If they weren't so huge, we'd have found a way to get rid of them by now, I'm sure. I've got cousins that can kill - never mind, don't even get me started there.

Anyway, the smaller one did find me. He looked up one day while he was unpacking and looked right into all my eyes.

"Hey, how'd you manage to escape the `mad-house-cleaner-from-hell' long enough to build that web?" the human asked me. "Good thing he's at the station right now and isn't listening. So, here's the deal, guy. You stay up there and I'll stay down here. Capuche? We'll get along just fine."

Now, I've always had that `take em or leave em' mentality with humans. But I liked this one, he understood us spiders. So, anyway, we lived like that for while and I got to know them both a little more. When the little one moved in, the bigger human seemed to stay around more often. I got the impression they were becoming good hatch-mates, or whatever human's call it.

I was not fond of the ape that moved in, though, and I was glad to tell him how to work the window latch so he could find another place to stay. Very few of us trust the non-spiders, you know? I did hear about one of us making friends with a pig and even going to the county fair. But I'm thinking that's just an urban legend or something.

My mind is wandering again. You wanted to know how I ended up in the hallway.

Well, one day, the little one comes home late at night, alone and real scared. I mostly try and mind my own business, but these two are so fascinating! Just the other night, they'd had an argument. The bigger one was ticked off when he couldn't get in because the younger one had a female with him at the time.

And no, I wasn't peeking - much.

But now, the little one is running around locking doors and closing blinds. He's acting like a fly in my web. Normally, I stay in my corner and just watch through the beaded curtain, but for this, I move to the doorway to get a better look. I'm watching when suddenly the front door gets kicked in and some stranger comes in like he owns the place. My little human tries to talk to him; I can hear he's terrified. But the stranger isn't talking much. Then, before I know it - he's attacking my human!

God, I never wanted to be a Wandering Spider so bad in my life! Those guys can kill a human with one bite. But they live too far away to help and I watch helplessly while the strange human knocks my human around like a dust mite. My human isn't a wimp either, and for a second I think he's going to be alright. But the stranger hits him in the head and he's down, lying still on the floor.

Then my human is gone, slung over the other's shoulder as he walks out the door.

I was still furious when the big human enters, calling out the other's name.

Sure, now he shows up!

He doesn't stay long, and soon I'm alone again in the dark.

I tried building an addition to my web, you know, just to get my mind off what I'd seen, but it didn't work. I'm an excellent spinner most of the time, even if I am hooting my own horn. But, I just can't seem to concentrate and I'm not ashamed to say I'm worried about my humans.

Wow, if that ever got out, I'd be the laughing stock of the bug world.

Then, about the time I'm ready to pull a leg off with worry, in walks my two humans. The little one is sleepy and he looks hurt, but the bigger human is helping him. They're talking in low voices, mostly the bigger one. My little human still looks terrified, but I can tell he's happy to be home.

They putter around for a while, then the little one is helped into our room to rest. I'm glad, now I can keep an eye on him better. I'm still pissed at the larger one, and if I didn't think he'd squash me, I'd tell him so. But, I stay quiet as the smaller human gets helped into his nest.

I move closer, you know, just to see for myself he's okay.

That's when it happens.

The big one looks up, I have no idea why. It's not like a human can hear me walking on the ceiling, right?

But he does, and I'm a breath a way from becoming a splat.

But then, my little human comes to the rescue.

"Jim, what are you doing?" the little one mumbles from his bed. I'd thought he was already asleep.

"Nothing, Sandburg. Go to sleep," the big one says, dragging a chair over to get closer to me.

I'm so terrified, I forget to run. He's already got a handkerchief out, he's going to squash me, I know it.

But the little one doesn't do what he's told, thank the Arachnid Maker!

"Jim! No!"

"Sandburg, you've got a spider in your room, I'm just going to get it."

"No! Don't, man!"

Now, I'm not an expert in human behavior, like I said before, I'm a take `em or leave `em spider. But, to me, the little one is having issues that aren't just about the big one `getting' me - rather mild word for insecticide, by the way. The big one leaves the chair to return to the little one who's now sitting up in his nest.

"Calm down, Sandburg," he soothes. He's noticed the renewed panic as well, I can see. "It's just a spider. I'm not letting a spider stay in the loft."

Hello? I've got news for you, human. I was hatched here! But the little one is talking again, so I have to listen carefully, because he's almost whispering.

"Please...don't kill him. I'll move him out in the morning, I swear."

"Chief..."

"Jim, come on, man!" Now he's starting to breathe fast and I'm getting mad again. Can't he see this isn't about who belongs and who doesn't? It's about being helpless to control your future. Heck, it's about being dragged off you own web when you should be safe.

I'm so mad; I'm ready to drop down on the big human, just to make him squirm when I race around under his shirt. I've always wanted to do that once before I die. Since it looks like that could be any minute, I'm about ready to let go.

But then, an amazing thing happens. The big human gets it. He understands.

"Blair, it's okay. I'm not going to kill the spider - I swear. I'll just move it out into the hallway. It can live there and make all the baby spiders it wants, okay?" He's even rubbing the smaller one's shoulder.

I'm so amazed; I forget that I've been granted a reprieve.

The big one picked up a thin book that I always see the smaller one reading and climbs back up on the chair. Now we're eye to eyes and he holds the book against the ceiling.

"If you know what's good for you, you'd better get on, fella."

Sheez, give a spider a chance to say good-bye to his home why don't you? But, it's not like I need to pack, so I climb on and my world gets turned upside down.

Huh... so this is how the human's see the world, go figure.

I don't like it.

Once through the broken door, the big guy set's the book down. I'm expecting to be a splat any second. After all, no way can the little one hear us out here. And the big human is not looking too friendly at me right now; I know he's thinking of breaking his promise. Probably worried I'd send all those hatchlings back in to torment him.

But he continues to amaze me.

"Alright, free ride is over, scram."

I don't need to be told twice. I'm off the book and up the side of the wall as fast as my legs can carry me. I find a quiet dark corner, check around for previous occupants and, seeing it empty, claim it as mine. Actually, it's kind of nice out here. I'm seeing all sorts of groceries flying around, just waiting to hit my web.

Realizing I haven't eaten in a long time, I immediately start building my new web, so I don't notice the bigger human is back inside again.

And that's my story. I guard the hallway now. It's funny; I've never eaten this well while living inside. The bigger one is a `neat-freak' - a human term I learned from the little one - and was constantly chasing off my food. I've also met a cute little spider down the way; I may have to reconsider the whole loner lifestyle thing.

The best part is when the little one come home each day. As soon as he was well enough to venture out, the bigger one made a point of showing him my new home. Now, the little one always gives me a friendly wave when he comes in.

And,if that stranger ever comes back, he's got a surprise waiting. I've recruited the entire hallway population to drop down on him en mass. It will be the last time he ever sneaks up on my human again. The other spiders think I'm pretty special... and I am, after all - I'm the guardian of the hallway.

The End

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